February 2021 Favorites: What I've Been Liking This Month

 

It's that time of where I share what I've been into for this month; February was an interesting month to say in the least. If you read my last post, then you know why. But if you didn't know, this was the month of where I tried to kill myself (5 years ago on the 13th of February) when I was still reeling from a bad breakup. It was a lot to take in that day, too. I'm thankful to still be living and given a second chance at life. It was like a sign from the Universe that day. Thank you, Universe. Anyways, here's what I've been into this month.

Favorite New Skincare Treatment:

This was a new find I found while out and about one afternoon; since then, I've grown to enjoy it. I find this so soothing on my skin (I do deal with sensitive skin which is a drag but my skin likes it). It's meant for more oily skin types. Definitely enjoyed this month.

Go-To Coffee Order I enjoyed this month:

Oat Milk Americano- delish!

New product I've been enjoying to froth my coffee with:

 

This stuff froths so well for that morning or afternoon cup! Highly recommend (also side note, I've been having a hard time finding Oatly's barista blend and this seemed to do the trick well just like the Oatly one- plus if gums / stabilizers bother your belly- this one from Califia Farms doesn't contain it at all).

Favorite new ground coffee:

This was a new find I found at Target this month; it was one of the two new coffees from Starbucks (the other is Honey Madagscar Vanilla- haven't tried this yet) and this was an incredibly smooth coffee. Definitely was worth trying!

Some highlights from this month:

• Going to visit my grandparents for the first time since Christmas last year (plus getting to see my sister isn't a bad thing either).
• Getting my first round of the COVID-19 vaccine (was super nervous but felt good doing my part to help save lives). 
• Valentine's Day this year- normally the day isn't my jam- but having a nice day in and enjoyed spending time with those I love most. 
• Getting Discovery+ (my mom recieved it as a Valentine's Day gift from my dad) and enjoying the programs the streaming service offers.
• Super Bowl Sunday this month was nice- made a great vegan 6 layer dip from The Kind Diet book and watched the fun ads and enjoyed seeing The Weeknd perform (he usually isn't my style of music but it was fun to see).

Well, that was all for this month- hope you enjoyed reading it! See you in March!

Sending lots of love & light,

Lauren

Something I've Not Shared With All of You...

I wasn't sure how I was going to begin this post with the subject being a little heavy for some. It's the 5 year anniversary of a traumatic day in my life (next week on February 13th, 2021 is the 5 year anniversary date) and I wanted to share how & why it happened and how I am feeling now (plus some self-reflection, too).

These are the words I wrote on February 13th, 2016:

"The unthinkable comes out of me and I was talking to my ex and I kept begging him for another chance and I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife and took it with me to my room and said my last prayers and  held the knife to my chest as I was still crying. My parents were concerned and gave me a long pep talk about everything. I almost gave up on life."

I am thankful that I didn't end my life that day otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you. I didn't know what was going on in my mind at the moment and the fact I saw the light in lieu of the darkness. I'm just thankful I had my parents there that day. I no longer talk to the person I reference in the post from 2016. I had cut him off indefinitely out of my life. He was a person that ruined me mentally and physically and emotionally (my anxiety got way more heightened around that time period). I just have been afraid of going down that same road again so I've just been enjoying my own company in the meantime. I remember telling my then-therapist what had happened and I was afraid to tell her but I did. Holding things in isn't healthy, and I knew if I kept it in I would regret it immensely. I felt better after that appointment that next day. 

But I want you to know something, this reader, because you are someone that is worthy of everything in this world. Don't let someone dictate how you feel at all. I let someone do that to me it almost ended my life. I didn't want to end my life because I had so much to look forward to in those next years of my life. I knew life was worth living again. I wanted to tell myself that constantly (even if my anxiety flared up some). Because sometimes we get things thrown at us in life and we think we handle it, but sometimes we can't, and sometimes we can. We just have to reframe those negative thoughts into positive ones. It's not as easy as it seems but it works. I find journaling really helpful with getting those thoughts out of me. 

As I'm typing this, a band I remember seeing my 10th grade year of high school- We the Kings- released a new song today called The Light and it deeply spoke to me. And the one of the lyrics referenced coming into the light from the darkness. When was this song when I needed it most? I'll link the post of the song if you wanted to listen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8QKJufu8CM. It's a great tune if you want something comforting ❤️.

So, here are a couple quotes that I love- to ease the healing from that day some:

I wasn't sure how was going to begin this post because I know this subject matter is heavy for some. It can be a lot to take in and I'm thankful I'm alive, healthy, and still existing in this world. Because I felt like I gained a second life since that day happened. I had great times in my life beyond that day happening. I am just thankful to exist in this life; I truly am. 

Take the time today to appreciate what life is; spend time with those that you love most and know you are worthy of so much more than you think. Also, most importantly take the time to nurture your soul with things that make you happy. See you all in a future post!

Sending you lots of love + light, 

Lauren

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me- put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."- Philippians 4:6-9 (NIV)