Well, I haven't updated this blog since January and it is now March. Wonder what things come out to be next?
February Recap
Of course I did see friends at my regular group I go to on Fridays and my adult group I only see every 1st of month. Well, the adult we did on the 4th of Feb. was interesting since some people like to run their mouths more than expected. We went to TGI Fridays and had a nice time there. I tried their fried green beans with wasabi-cucumber-ranch sauce. Ah! To die for! My main course was a parmesan encrusted salmon with sweet potato fries. YUM! Afterwards, we headed to Barnes & Noble to browse around for a hour and a half. I got a new book (out of my comfort zone) entitled "Skinny" which I am already halfway through and if you're wondering what the book is about it's a girl dealing with anorexia. It's interesting of an book, I just really didn't want vampire books right now. Went home later on, and enjoyed myself at home with family. The next day on the 5th of Feb., was the Super Bowl, of course I don't usually get any of the football terms they are talking about but I watch it anyways. The commercials, on the other hand, were pretty funny.
The halftime show with Madonna was great regardless of M.I.A flipping the bird. That was a nice night to kind of remember. Also on the 10th of February I got to get of the house and head out to Arundel Mills mall with my best friend and some of her family. We chilled out before heading to the mall. Such a fun time! I'll never forget it! While going home that night, "Bohemian Rhapsody" comes on and I begin singing a little off-key then the chorus kicks in and I headbang like no freaking tomorrow. Her mom was like, "You can headbang in my car anytime you want." DING! A WIN! Got home about 10pm, chilled, headed to bed later on. Valentine Day's of 2012 was interesting since I recieved my two boxes of chocolate and a beautiful card. It was a lovely day (pun intended.) I had usual day at home doing chores and playing with my puppy, Hyatt. He's getting so tall, it made me realize how small he was when we first got him. Anyways, on the 22nd of February, I did something that changed my whole outlook on life. I wasn't going to even put this up here but might as well. That day I watched of my recording of "Glee" and it was heartwrenching (you have to watch the episode in order to understand) and MTV aired the "It Gets Better" special and all of these feelings came out of me. I typed a letter coming out to my parents, sister, and best friend. I felt good about it and have been better since. That same day my best friend chatted me about it and the happiest of the matter thought I was really brave for doing that. My parents on the other hand wouldn't be taking it so well. My dad thought I should wait, my mom didn't even like it to begin with and my sister wouldn't love me anymore if I was that. I don't have to wait, I'm 19, for goodness sakes! I will do what's best for me!
I went to group on the 24th of February, and surprisingly, no one knew I came out of the closet (only my best friend of who I trust.) Well, that same day, my nerves kicked in so badly, and two to three of my group members brought up certain subjects in relation to me coming out. Someone thought, "Are you okay?" I was fine, I responded. I wanted to talk to my best friend about everything but as usual she ignores me like she usually does. Thankfully, at least I have a shoulder to lean onto with the darkness consuming me. Got out of the house the next day (2/25/2012) and went did some shopping. Such a fun day! The 26th of February was the day of the Academy Awards and it was also nice to watch as well.
March Recap (so far)
Surprisingly, March began with some bad things and it continued to do that to me. Ever since coming out on the 22nd of Feb. I have been acting out more than I should (stealing money from my family is one example) I haven't regained my parents trust or anyones' for that matter. And I have been on house arrest (w/o monitoring bracelet) so I can't do anything I wanna do, which really sucks. On the 2nd of March, my sister decided on calling my grandmother and telling her all of the bad things I've done. I wish they would move on from the freaking situation! (they still haven't by the way.) Can I earn their trust and my life back? Maybe, I don't know. My grandparents came in on Sunday the 4th of March, and what was said was killing me inside. My sister had to tell everyone there that I am (insert sexual orientation here.) I was ready to run home and scream. I eventually didn't and everyone loves me regardless. They all think it's a phase and a complete joke. I was being serious! My grandmother thought it was my best friend that made me come out of the closet. (It was lies and she still didn't believe me.) She said something that made hate her inside which was for her to move to Oregon and never come back. (because she thinks my best friend is a bad influence on me. I disagree.)
As I end this blog for now, I just needed to tell everything because I feel like I am lost from the world surrounding me since everything is gone and I just want to have a life ridding of the darkness and bringing the light back in. Hopefully, I can be off of house arrest and see everyone I miss at my group on fridays and my adult group on saturdays 1st of the month. Most importantly, I want to see my best friend again because I miss her like crazy (in a best friend kind of way) I hate not seeing her some days. With me being on house arrest, I wish I could see her. Anyways, I'm gonna end it here. I will see you when I see you.
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