Hey, all! It's time to update on how I've been doing more at home and when I occasionally go out. Thankfully, this was the month (April) of where my anxiety was surprisingly kind to me more. There was days where it did hit me and I accepted that feeling as I should.
Commentary has been getting to me more as of lately. Anytime I don't do this or that (ie washing my hands), and I constantly want to scream / cry / feel all the feels. And I know I shouldn't let commentary from one person in my household get to me so much. But it's gotten to be too much to hear such negative + snotty commentary from this person. If I try to say something, I'll get yelled at. If it is the other person, she doesn't get yelled at. I hate when life isn't fair sometimes. But I guess that is a part of life. I have to accept it for what it is.
As for outings, I only go out to get groceries (which hasn't been as much as the first month since this whole pandemic started) and sometimes out to a favorite coffee shop to do pick-up orders + pop on in to get a treat for my sweet toothed family members.
The things I've been doing as of lately are introducing dance workouts back into my daily fitness regime. My sister introduced me to an IG Live dance workout from Alison + tWitCh from So you think you can dance- they do these every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It doesn't even feel like a workout to me which I love. I still am aiming to get on my yoga mat everyday to do my daily yoga practice (via YouTube and / or Instagram Live). I feel mentally better if I do get on my mat; I do try to walk my doggies around the neighborhood too (just getting outside has been a struggle as of lately). I still occasionally cook + bake (I just did two variants of roasted chickpeas- one spicy, the other just salt + pepper based; did homemade black bean sweet potato veggie burgers those are a work in progress- taste wise; doing more at home cold brew coffee which is good especially if you really like it and find hot coffee in the afternoon doesn't wake you up enough).
I have not been binging anything on Netflix / Hulu / TV lately; I need some good recommendations right now (comedy preferred but anything will work). I also have been talking to my personal one-on-one support lady over the phone as of recent. It's been nice talking to her about life and nonsense. Anxiety, thankfully, hasn't been as bad as it was when the pandemic started. I've been managing it a bit better. If I get on my mat, making sure I'm eating properly, drinking enough water, and making sure to get outside then I've felt like I won at life.
But with this month (May) being Mental Health Awarenss month, I've been wanting to focus on more ways I can help out my anxiety. Like I know the basic things (ie writing / journaling, meditating, etc.) But going more deeper, like the things I say to myself that aren't true, and learning to step out of my comfort zone, too. Being home more + not going out as much is a big step out of my comfort zone. I feel if I'm home more I get that depressed feeling (which isn't fun). I don't get too depressed too often, I get the ocassional 'Blue + sad' days and I know what to do if that happens (try to make myself laugh and / or blast happy upbeat music to shake it off some). But to help myself in these dark times the world is dealing with, I made myself a playlist of music on Spotify that I find to be a good blanket. I'll link it if you want to listen to it: http://open.spotify.com/playlist/73GAfeVNBB5ju0lwWHOpw0?si=cOC5ta-NTzGmrWanJ7Fb1Q
And I've been needing to tell myself this situation isn't temporary. I know we will get back to where we want to be. This isn't an overnight thing, it takes time and patience. We will come out of this stronger and better than before. And as a reminder (that I believe we all need to hear sometimes) this I read from a nonprofit called To write love on her arms (not my words, but theirs): You are not here for the sake of a perfect existence. You do not exist to impress or appease or meet standards. Even in your faults, your mistakes, your mishaps, you have made this world more beautiful. Through your struggles, your heartache, your pain, you have brought humility and encouraged grace to grow in spaces that craved honesty. The magic of your soul is not contingent upon flawlessness. Today and always, we need your presence, not your perfection. Those words they spoke for a shirt I looked at (did end up getting) made me almost cry. I loved those words they spoke, I've been needing to hear that more sometimes.
And to close this post out I'll share some quotes with you that I like:
Sometimes words from others can speak better than words we can say to ourselves. We can say things to ourselves that don't ring out to be true. We say those things to ourselves because we put so much on ourselves everyday that we can't see that we are doing too much. We know we need to take breaks to make ourselves feel better. We need to practice more self-care because it ultimately makes us feel good. But the best thing we can do everyday is journal. I've been journaling everyday since this year started and I encourage you to do it. I'm not forcing you, just try it. Anyways, I'll update you again soon!
Stay safe, be blessed, have gratitude, pray, breathe, and practice self-love.
Sending love and light out to you!
-Lauren-
